neorants

Win.

Ah, the simple wisdom of Dragon Warrior. Who among us can’t find at least one instance a day at which the phrase “A slime draws near! Command?” would be useful?

A slime draws near! Command?

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

-Ellen Goodman

So I’m in the process of installing software on the new notebook my employer just provided me, and as I’m installing Ruby, I’m browsing the bug tracker for the one-click installer for Windows. I’m glad I did, because I came across this gem of a bug report, captured here for posterity.

More than one click.

This… is… ENTERPRISE-CLASS!

Oracle.com as of 8:28 AM 10/15/08

Take On Me: The Literal Version

I thoroughly approve. One of my all-time favorite 80s songs.

I just saw this joke and realized that this is my big annoyance with home ownership.

“The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you’re looking at something you should be doing.”

This article made me chuckle. Not because of its claims, because I agree. But because of this paragraph:

The interviewers graded each student’s overall performance and employability while five trained handshake experts also scored students on their handshake. The scores were then compared.

“Trained handshake experts?” Really? I can see the resume now.

Skills: Public speaking, Presentation, Communication, Certified Hand Shaking Expert, Certified in Microsoft Office

It’d make me wonder whether I was hiring a person or a golden retriever.

My dad is finally at the age where he’s applying for social security. He received his paperwork yesterday and they had placed his cover sheet on the disability request forms of someone else. As he was telling me about this, the following exchange occurred on his speakerphone:

Dad: I can’t believe they messed this up. This is a federal agency! Anyway, so I’m going to…
Me: Wait. Wait, wait, wait — rewind, and say what you just said again.
Dad: What?
Me: "I can’t believe they messed this up. This is a federal agency!"
(Mom, in the background, laughing hysterically)

That made my morning.

Wow. This guy is gonna be fun to watch.