neorants

This one has been a long time coming.

I invested days and days of my life into this game. I founded a guild, along with my wife and some good friends. It continues to flourish to this day (Hi Virtus Infinitus!). I spent some time raiding, though endgame raiding was really only a means to an end, a way to get better gear to use in PvP. I developed a great fondness for Battleground PvP, particularly — I ground the old Honor system for the rank of Grand Marshal with my Hunter, Bedemus, one of two Dwarven GMs on my server (Hi Tower!), finally nabbing it on October 31st, 2006, a mere week or two before the system was done away with.

I made many friends — though I only knew them online, one of my core values when I play online games is that I try to remember that the person behind the keyboard is real, even if the character isn’t. The friendships I made, therefore, were real friendships, even if friendships devoid of the accountability that comes from someone knowing who you really are — knowing more about you than you might divulge about yourself online.

I suppose it’s the friendships that kept me around as long as I stayed, even after I watched Blizzard destroy the PvP side of the game for me by switching the focus from large-scale battlegrounds to small-scale arenas. Little bite-size snacks of PvP, reduced in length and numbers to something the game mechanics were poorly suited for — a TV dinner in comparison to the 4 course meal of battlegrounds. While in battlegrounds, a working strategy could be found for almost any sane combination of classes. In Arenas, things became formulaic and twitch-based, and many arena-specific balancing changes got introduced. Slowly I watched the game I loved be reduced to a shadow of its former self as much of that hidden depth that existed in playing each class got removed… to “simplify” things, so they would say.

I’m not leaving for another game. WOW is still probably the best thing going for the moment, as far as MMOs go. I’m leaving because I realize now, perhaps too late, that I used the game to avoid dealing with certain situations I found unbearable. After trying to deal with them properly for a while, and seeing a slow downhill slide, I retreated. It was the wrong thing to do, but oh so easy, and so satisfying. When it didn’t seem like I was making progress in life, I could make progress in a video game. I leaned on it to drown out everything else, including that still, small voice that was calling to me, offering me help for the hurting and showing me things I could do better.

Sometimes there’s just too much noise in the world for the quiet things to find their voice.

Anyway, I had considered making a goodbye post on the official game forum for my server, Argent Dawn, but it has long since been overrun by forum trolls, and would probably result in some of the new “hot shots” of the arena world telling me how I’m old and washed up.

Maybe. Maybe I was never any good at all, as a World of Warcraft player, and all this Arena hate and quitting the game is just a symptom of my realization of that. I don’t know. I don’t care. I know I’m becoming better at life, now, having taken a step back, and that if I ever return to an MMO, it will be on totally different terms.

If you’re reading this, and you know one of the three characters I spent my time on — Bedemus or Mordaine on Alliance-side, or Mordruk as a member of the Horde, I have three things to say to you.

First, thank you. Whether I knew you through a friendly rivalry, as one of the people on the other side who truly brought the concept of honor to the “honor grind,” or as an ally whom I fought beside, thank you — you are what made this game worth playing all this time.

Second, please forward this URL on to as many of those who knew me in game as you can. Consider this my “farewell post.” I never was very fond of goodbyes, and putting one on the official forums just isn’t my style.

Lastly, what would any “farewell post” be without some specific shout outs to people who made this game better? In no particular order, and sure to be added to as I remember those I missed:

• Virtus Infinitus: My first real guild of any staying power, and the first I ever led. Randal continues to prove I made a wise choice when I handed over the reins to him.
• SBR: The Shadowborne Runners was the first raiding alliance VI joined up with, and we dealt with about as many teething issues as a raiding group ever should. I met a lot of great people through those late-night raids, and to this day, I know that if I ever run into Kilgoretrout, he would not fail to cast PW:S on my pet wind serpent. Morwin was a great guy, and dealt with a lot of crap from all of those raiding newbies we brought along.
• BWA: One of the most fun bunch of folks to hang around in a raid, even if it was a guarantee we would spend 15 minutes between each pull in small talk. <3 to Olixus, Butterboots (who was in SBR, too, but whose heart always belonged to BWA), Mauriac, Mogh, and the rest.
• Reclamation: Especially Devenie, Jigsore, Severyn, and Macada.
• Xpugs, both new and old: Tower, Fizzen, Merrik, Janissary, Cathedan, Robidius, Pendray, Nattens, Sialwyn, Katthel, Reddimus, Kudi, Tillenu, Sarro, Mela, Katharine, Juraa, Igrihe, Kalamazoo, Gawen, Slippir, Rynarius (hope you’ve forgiven me for becoming filthy horde scum), Rojin (likewise), Wolfspirit, Nataly, Arabelli, Blargson, Alunar, Persea, and of course, Azaelia/Lutra. We were a family. Strange and dysfunctional, like all families, but I’ll miss you guys.
• Fellow honor pushers, not listed elsewhere: Enaidmenisc, Fieona, Disius, Alkurien, Miggs, Finwe, Hexblade, Josh (grind number 2!), Lere, Tabarack, and so many more who came along when they had time and we had an open slot. Sinne and the other DP late night PvPers — I know that DP has some history with Sinne now, but he was always a stand-up guy when we PvPed together, and he and Juddithe were funny to listen to on vent. And he brought some SICK healers to the mix. Kaeltir, of course, is skilled no matter what class he’s playing, but as a healer, he’s scary. Hegel!! I still remember that night I was teaching you and Karleia the finer points of bushmelding, after hearing you complaining about getting instagibbed as soon as you showed up. You guys picked up fast. On the last week of my grind, when I was having huge connection issues and Sinne insisted I stay, to keep working on my rank, I disconnected in a heated battle at the BS while we were trying to take it, and I was sure I was dead. When I logged back in, I asked how on earth I was still alive, and we had taken the node — you two told me that the other team was so intent on killing me (shiny armor aggro) that despite me having disconnected, you healed me while I tanked them, and we capped. I must have laughed for the rest of the match.
• My horde friends: Some of you, I never got to know very well after my switch to Outriders. All of you, I respected. Kellian and Accident, the best darn hunters the Horde have to offer. Evillaur — who’d have thought behind those cold undead eyes could lie such a sweetheart? Thanks for being so nice to me when I switched. Melephis, Wolfhoof, Smitten, Dharaval, and Benator — long live the druid mafia! Verosend and Nikadeemus — I don’t care what class you play, you’ll always be mages to me. Jorit, Ruckus, Mortisha, Vaeshir, and the rest of the Schaden crew — you guys were the best gulch team the server had to offer. It was a privilege to watch the machine operate. Hia-bear: Rawr rawr rawr RAWR rawr! Chojee — just why are Horde druids all so awesome? Tchi — more druid awesomeness. Peeta, my best undead buddy from back in the honor grind days. We’ll always have Mind Control at the Undercity gates. Meadowglen — You’re a strange Tauren, but you have a heart of gold. Thunderherd — You were always willing to help us switchers out, and long before the switch, you hung out on vent and were good company to have. Boven, never willing to let your choice of spec get in the way of defending Thunder Bluff! Zariie — healsplzkthx! Crypta — with you around, anyone can be invincible. For Horde — it’s hard to imagine how a guild that is so large could still maintain quality in its membership, but you’re all a ton of fun. Especially Malevola and Saybel. Advocates of Fear — Merrik’s a good guy, and a good leader. I’ve no doubt his horde-side adventures will be profitable for all of you.

Man. I’m gonna come back and add to that list later. Anyway, some parting pics from the archives.

Thanks for reading.