neorants

A blog entry at the website of one of gooselady’s friends reminded me something about fish. They are sick little monkeys. Not really monkeys, of course, unless we’re talking about sea monkeys, which aren’t fish anyway — they’re brine shrimp. Anyway, back to the fish thing…

…It is my sincere belief that all fish are mentally unbalanced, possibly due to the massive inbreeding that no doubt occurs at fish nurseries. Many fish, like the ones Bret mentioned, are suicidal. I had some hatchet fish once, for instance, that continually attempted, with varying degrees of success, to commit suicide by hurling their tiny bodies out of their tank like so many finny Icaruses (Icari?).

Then, just the other day, this chick who was cutting my hair was telling me about a homicidal fish she owns, that has single-handedly killed several other (larger and supposedly more antisocial) fish without batting an eye — which, I suppose, is normal, since fish don’t have eyelids. Then she proceeds to tell me how cute it is that the fish seems intelligent enough to play with her kitten. When the kitten walks up to the tank and begins to bat at the fish through the glass, the fish swims up and down facing the kitten.

Personally, I think the fish is just lining himself up for the inevitable leap that is to come. I give the kitten a week at most.