neorants

OK, ever since the whole “all your base” thing hit a few years back, I’ve gotten entirely too much enjoyment out of all things engrish. To be honest, I think it just struck a chord with me since I’ve always been an avid gamer and I’ve been exposed to horrible mistranslations all my life.

Heck, I still occasionally tell people who have done a good job on something at work “A winner is you!” Bonus points for you if you know where that comes from.

Anyway, I’m very fortunate to enjoy a steady influx of various engrish-like musings, owing to the fact that a free webmail program I developed, NeoMail, has been translated into a number of languages, and I was stupid enough to place a direct mailto: link on all but the last version of it. Consequently, I get all sorts of mail requesting support on everything imaginable, along with a fair number of unsolicited username and password pairs (good thing I’m one of the good guys) from people with a widely varying grasp of the English language, all of whom think I have some affiliation with their ISP.

Today’s most interesting piece of gibberish was the best I’ve seen in a while:

Subject: incorporate all my post office

Dear friends

Please I need incorporate all my post office from November of the 2002

Kindly
[company and name deleted]

I have no idea what it is you wanted me to do, my friend, but thank you. You made my day.