neorants

This morning I was sitting here talking to a good friend and coworker who has been remarkably adept at dealing with my increasingly pessimistic outlook towards all things work-related as of late. This guy has been a real blessing to have around since I relocated. Sometimes it just helps to have someone to commiserate with in an entirely non-constructive manner. Someone who can genuinely tell you “I know exactly where you’re coming from.” This guy is great for that. Then, he hits me with this: “You should take some time off.”

Now, I don’t know if he’s saying this largely because my attitude is driving him to the brink of insanity, or he’s genuinely concerned for my well being, but he’s completely right. It’s odd that the suggestion caught me by surprise, in retrospect. I should have thought of this myself. My immediate response was “I can’t take a vacation, I need to save my vacation time.” “You never take off, Im sure you have time,” he says. Of course, I neglected to think about the fact that I hadn’t taken a vacation since last May, and the thing I was saving time for was a honeymoon that won’t be coming until the end of this year, plenty of time for me to accrue loads of time off. I checked my paystub and it says I have over a week and a half of vacation time coming.

Now, will I actually take a vacation? Probably not. I don’t really have the money to go anywhere and gooselady is busy student teaching so I couldn’t spend much time with her, either. Besides, I feel guilty even taking sick time and usually end up checking my work e-mail from home. Of course, this just adds to the resentment when despite the fact that I worked all day long (sometimes getting more done in a day off than on a workday because of the missing distractions), I still have to burn sick time. I’ll bet my parents are shocked. They always figured I’d never have much work ethic based on my youthful chronic underachievement.

Turns out, my work ethic is alive and kicking me right in the gut.